I don't know!
I never believed in fate, refused in fact. In the last 12 months so many, many things have happened that seem to bring me to one point that I can't sort of pretend it anymore.
Everywhere I go people are talking about my life. Well, to be fair, they're not - but the things they say mean something. I've been up to the kids' rooms and the radio was talking to ME. Not anyone - noooo, was me.
The basics of this fate thing is that I have to do something about it all. The problem then is what if I don't? How the hell does fate deal with defiance? If I won't do what fate tells me to do, and he won't do it, then it's not going to happen is it? Unless we progress to reincarnation.
Told you I would ramble, rofl.
Anyway, today stuff.
I actually don't want to talk about today. In a nutshell, Child 1 has appointment - serioulsy needed one (squeeze spelling, bottle of wine down). He turns up before I am home from dropping kids off.
Knew it was trouble before I got there, the look on his face. Can I describe it? Smug, self-content, clever, aggressive.
I found my drive littered with a zillion bags and boxes. We'd agreed to leave at 9am. It was 9:02am and would take 15 - 20 mins to shift it all. I made the stupid mistake of telling him how long it takes me to do school drop-offs. Had to be there at 9:30.
I dared complain that we had now about 10 mins to travel 30 mins and he went ape. I so don't want to talk about this, but hell, what's it for?
I had to hold the door shut, he was pulling on the handle and pushing door. I managed - just - to lock it. Poor eldest son saw all of this. Didn't get to the appointment and have rearranged for Monday. Tells me they know how desperate things are, this is the nhs!!!
Anyway, Mr Autism hid in his room, hid in the attic and hid everywhere.
I don't want to do this now. Sorry xxx
